I Hope I’m 53 and Pole Dancing

I’ve been in a funk recently, obviously. I haven’t written any new posts, or even written at all for that matter. I let my job take over and I brought back a lot of bad habits that took me so long to get rid of. A constant cycle of late nights, sleeping till 12pm, unhealthy eating, lots of Netflix, no reading, no physical activity… I’ll just stop there.

Not gonna lie, it was nice for a little to just let go, but then I started feeling it. Tired all the time, no energy, no drive to even dramatically roll out of bed. It’s a hard feeling to explain, but I felt so disconnected from my mind. Almost like I was on autopilot. The second I started realizing this feeling I talked through the small changes I can make to possibly make myself feel better.

So, I’m back baby.

Writing is something I MUST do, reading I MUST do, yoga I MUST do, eating right I MUST do. I’m starting to realize that without these things I can’t feel fully fulfilled, or even just reach my highest potential of happiness. For someone else these “must haves” might be different. If you don’t feel like you have any, make a quick list like I just did. I bet in the next hour if you even do just one of them, you’ll feel a little more satisfied with yourself.

I have been trying to get myself to write again for some time, but I literally could not do it (horrible excuse, I’m aware). Until today. Believe it or not, the thing that triggered me was a conversation between a yoga instructor and another woman.

I overhead the instructor saying,  “My daughter yelled at me saying, mommy you’re 53 and still pole dancing!”

She had all the ladies laughing about it, but for me, my eyes opened just a tiny bit more and my very first thought was;

Well shit, I want to be 53 and still be able to god damn pole dance if I feel like it.

In that moment my switch flicked back on. I’m 20 years old and I feel older than that woman does.

Luckily, the hard part of figuring out “why?” is solved. Now, it’s just a matter of putting it all into action. To simply put it, just taking care of myself and doing the things that make me feel alive. That’s the formula. Yeah, I know, easier said than done.

Clearly, I just said it…Easy. Now I gotta do it? Crap.

Here’s the best part though. It’s stuff I love doing so it should actually be the easiest thing in the world.

I took action first thing. I went to a yoga class later that day called “Yoga & Mindfulness”. It’s like everything I was asking for fell right into my hands. It was a lot of the instructor talking and very little movements. She focused the class on our fourth chakra, which is also known as the heart chakra. She said how this is an easy chakra for someone to lose their balance with.

We sometimes forget about self care because we focus so much on loving other things or people before ourselves. She further explained how important it is to take care of ourselves first and then to give whatever is left to everything else.

I can’t get over how that’s what she talked about the one class I chose to take. Everything unfolded exactly how it should have. After that class, it finally hit me. I started writing again and realized a way to help me center myself again was to create lists consisting of different goals. Obviously enough, one of them I’m calling “self care goals”. I created a list of seven totally doable goals. I thought I’d share my list to hopefully help and inspire you, along with following up with them in future posts.  

Self Care Goals

  1. Homemade hair mask every Monday
  2. Read and write for at least 30 minutes a day
  3. Start journaling
  4. Meditate for at least 5 minutes every Sunday
  5. Leave my phone on a shelf 20 minutes before bed and don’t look at it again until I’ve gotten up out of bed the next morning
  6. Yoga everyday –  Either a class or just a simple flow in my room
  7. Eat healthy Monday through Friday

This is one of those things where by achieving the little things it will end up helping you be able to tackle the big things when they come around.

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